


I Never Want to See You Unhappy

by LaDragonaria



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8285227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDragonaria/pseuds/LaDragonaria
Summary: Sakakura Juzo lives after sustaining multiple life-threatening injuries and is currently recuperating in the hospital while Munakata Kyosuke watches over him. But while Sakakura struggles with the idea of confessing his secret at last, Munakata is struggling with the guilt he feels at having been responsible for causing his best friend so much pain.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Munasaka over on Tumblr, and freckles!Juzo 
> 
> Also dedicated to the people who desperately want Juzo to be alive. I ship Juzo with happiness first and foremost.

Thankfully, he's on painkillers. So many painkillers.

Waking up in the hospital had felt an awful lot like purgatory, everything stark white and feeling numbed and hazy. A mess of vague images and dull sensation, the sounds of voices, the almost imperceptible feeling of things pricking or cutting into him, something that kept him calm but still almost aware.

Well, if this is the afterlife, then it's not so bad... Ah... He'd died then. Damn. 

Sakakura's mind floods with thoughts of Munakata. Was he sad...? Was that too much to hope for? Was that too selfish at this point? ...No.

"I want... him to be happy..." His own voice surprises him, coming out in a hoarse croak.

He didn't want to be selfish. He didn't want to be a lingering spirit, some sad ghost to haunt Munakata and watch over him like a looming specter. He deserved better. He deserved happiness... Had he... at least bought him some time...?

The face that cautiously moves into his field of vision is a surprise.

"...Ky... Kyosuke..." He sighs out again, smiling.

It must not be real, he thinks. Maybe this is the "white light" everyone talks about. Then... something's come to take him. This definitely isn't too bad, then. Maybe he'd see Yukizome.

He can see the face above him and when he looks closely, he can see Munakata is missing an eye, wearing some kind of eyepatch. 

But he can't stop smiling. It's such a beautiful vision... Death is actually so beautiful...

He reaches his hand out to the face weakly. He can't feel his left hand at all, but the right one... The right one responds and moves in shaky jittery forward and upward motions before Munakata reaches his hand and squeezes it. Tightly. A little too tightly.

"Sakakura...?"

Sakakura can feel Munakata's hand pressing into him, but his mind is too foggy to process pain, only the sensation of pressure.

There's some flurry of movement around him and... doctors and nurses are busy shining lights in his eyes which make him wince and turn away sluggishly. He's being fussed over. These are the most annoying angels. He was enjoying his death visions so much more than this.

"Kyosuke..." He croaks out again and Munakata's hands now squeeze his tighter.

"How is he...?" A voice says but he isn't listening. 

Sakakura just smiles and stares at Munakata. Much better. It's better this way.

"It's not possible... He... He should have..." Another voice echoes dimly.

Sakakura closes his eyes weakly. He's just so... sleepy.

"Sakakura! Sakakura!!"

The voice fades and when he wakes up next, it... must be a different day. The pain is much more apparent, sharp stabs and dull aches. He groans again and tries to sit up.

At once, a startled hand shoves him back hard into the mattress.

"Sakakura! Stay... Stay there. Don't get up... You're..."

"..." His mind is much clearer now. "Wha... Where am I...?"

"You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

The stream of nurses are back, interrupting again. He weakly bats them away with his left hand, only to realize the hand is no longer there. Seeing his own body like this... At this angle...

"...Shit, am I alive...?" He mumbles. Unless the afterlife decided to leave him disfigured. That'd be a dick move.

"You lost a lot of blood. You need..." Munakata's smiling at him, a tender weak smile. Why is it so frail? Why is it... shaking...? "You need to rest. You..."

He feels a pair of lips kiss his knuckles as the hands squeeze his right hand. He can feel a silently whispered prayer of gratitude on the hand.

"Did... Did you make it...? You're... not dead?"

"Of course not." He answers simply. "Thanks to you."

"Well... That's... That's something..." 

At least he hadn't messed that up.

~ ~ ~

Over the next few days, he learns what happened, and how he'd been on death's door.

Truthfully, the details are fuzzy with the painkillers. But seeing the way Munakata looks at his injuries... hurts him more than words can say. When he's brave and fuzzy with the painkillers, he can lightly touch Munakata's cheek with his good hand and tell him he's happy he's still alive.

When he's more sober, he can see his friend more clearly.

"Shit... Munakata, you look... You look worse than I do." He gives a weak smile. Munakata has always been slender, but never quite so... gaunt, or sullen. "You need to sleep."

"It's fine."

"At... At least eat something. You look like miles of bad road. Did you... at least get that eye looked at?"

Sakakura's selflessness is like a dagger to his gut. Which would actually make him feel better considering he'd inflicted as much on his best friend. All of those injuries, the most serious of which Munakata inflicted, and... it just doesn't even matter to him. He's not even blaming him. Blame doesn't even cross Sakakura's mind.

"I should've... done better... known more..." Munakata says shaking his head. He has no right to be here, he thinks. No right at all. But Sakakura needs help. And maybe he's being selfish too, hoping for forgiveness where he shouldn't be expecting any at all.

"Come on, it's not that bad..."

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

Sakakura is so... weak and... The man still looks pale and bloodless. If he got up, he'd crumple for sure. And now without a hand...

How could he have done it so easily? Wasn't he afraid at all? A boxer missing a hand... A boxer who gave up everything for him. Absolutely everything. And for what? Him? ...Someone of so little faith. Someone who could do something so monstrous without even a second thought.

"I was... trying."

"I don't deserve that. I don't deserve that kindness."

Sakakura frowns.

"You're... talking crazy. You need to go eat something. Or... go take a nap."

"Absolutely not." 

There's a kind of ferocity in his voice and in his remaining eye that Sakakura admires, but it makes him hard to talk to. It's hard to help someone who doesn't want it.

"You don't have to worry..." He smiles weakly. "Can't you see...? I'm... I'm practically indestructible."

"Not for lack of trying."

"Please... Go get something to eat at least. You're... You look a little scary." Sakakura's words are joking, but not totally off base either.

Munakata looks him over. The hospital gown does a good job of hiding his more serious injuries. But he knows where he struck his friend, and the hand there reminds him that it's as real and as terrible as he imagined.

"Sakakura."

"I mean it... You gotta eat. You're only human." Sakakura leans back, trying to shift his weight back. "Do it for me, okay?"

Munakata clenches his teeth. He really isn't in a position to resist what Sakakura asks.

"Alright. You stay here." Munakata stands and makes it to the door before realizing exactly what he said. The lack of food and sleep have him on shaky legs as it is, but the realization is... horrific. "I'm sorry that... I didn't mean it like that..."

"Go on, you. Before you need a bed too..."

When Munakata leaves, Sakakura frowns.

He hadn't gotten to tell him anything, had he... Sakakura wants to be strong enough to tell him. He wants to be able to do it confidently, but is now really the best time? And just like that... he's back to secrets and lies of omission. 

It was almost easier to slip away into death... Wanting Munakata to live had been the most obvious thing in the world. Why was everything else just so... messy and painful...? A sad thought echoes in his head, but he moves it aside. There's still time.

He hasn't been abandoned. And Munakata's alive. It's... a good day.

Munakata curses his luck, heart thrumming like a hummingbird as he searches the hospital for the cafeteria or... wherever there is food. Panic rises in his chest as he gets lost down the wrong set of hallways going to some ungodly corner of the hospital maze of whitewashed walls and sickly sweet disinfectant smell.

After a handful of minutes, probably no longer than ten or fifteen but it seems like an eternity to him, he finds the cafeteria and finds the simplest food he can think of. Vending machine food and coffee in paper cups. 

The panic in him continues as he scarfs down food so fast his stomach can't handle it. He has to rush to the bathroom, and desperately tries to keep the food down, drinking water right from the faucet. When he sees himself in the mirror, he nearly gives himself a heart attack. He looks... ghoulish.

No wonder Sakakura was worried.

"Sakakura...!"

He pushes the nausea down as best as possible, and washes his face as quick as possible before he bolts back to the hospital room.

And just like that, it's like running to the breaker room again. A mad frenzied dash and a pulsing need for him to be alive. His heart feels like it'll fail him at any moment. He stops being able to feel his legs as his body strains under the lack of nutrition and sleep.

A few times he nearly slides down walls when he turns corners too sharply.

It doesn't take much to bring him back there. Blood everywhere, smears on everything. The smell of iron in the area, nauseating. And... And...

"Sakakura..."

Please don't be dead!

...

As he barges into hospital room again his eye frantically scans the room for Sakakura, as if expecting to see him still stuck on the lever but... There he is, looking confused. In his bed... Blinking softly. Alive.

"Hey, that was quick. Did you actually eat anything...?"

"..." There's a momentary sigh of relief.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" He asks somberly.

"What...?"

"...Okay bad news. I'm on this gross clear liquid diet for a while. And I had all of the soup broth... But the good news is, I've got plenty of jello and popsicles, if you want some."

Sakakura has long sticks of popsicles with him, red and blue ones, but they're mostly liquid now. It's really just liquid syrup in a bag.

"..."

"They're... a little melty now, but do you want... Uh... Red flavor or blue flavor...?" He smiles gently at him.

"..."

Munakata feels the world spin out from under him as he drops to his knees, shaking. Shaking violently.

"H-Hey! We... We need some help in here! Hey!" Sakakura, without even thinking, pushes all the food and trays to one side roughly and flips the blankets out of his way with his good hand. 

Gracelessly, he moves to jump out of bed and he does, but his legs haven't seen much use in the time at the hospital and he fumbles, tripping at the sudden impact which sends him sprawling onto the hospital floor with a loud thud.

He grunts and swears under his breath. Hopefully he didn't tear any of the stitches... The nurses would never let him hear the end of it.

Pulling himself up as best he can, he tries to will himself forward. 

When Munakata sees him, he freezes. Why... Why would he do that...? On shaky legs, he rises and moves awkwardly to Sakakura's side to help him up more.

"Why did you do that?!"

"You're okay... Good. I thought... you were gonna pass out." Sakakura smiles at him.

"Stop that! Stop... Stop looking at me like that!"

"Wh...?"

"Why... Tell me why..." Munakata trembles as he holds onto Sakakura's hospital gown. "Why aren't you angry with me?! Why... Why don't you hate me?! ...If... If anyone has the right to hate me, it's you so... so... so... Why...? I don't... I don't understand! Why don't you hate me?!"

Munakata bawls like a small child into his chest and Sakakura is stunned into silence. There had been many times in his life that he had thought how it would be nice to be embraced by Munakata like this, not crying obviously, but...

But this just breaks his heart.

"...I don't hate you... How could I?" It's the most natural reaction in the world for him. "You're my... best friend."

The last words sting a little, but it's not quite a lie, Sakakura thinks.

"I... I did this to you... It's my fault... It's my fault, it's my fault, it's all my fault! You should be... You should be hating me! You should be telling me to... to..."

"Kyosuke..." He allows himself this indulgence at least. "I could never hate you. This... This isn't your fault..."

"Yes, it is... And you're... You're still so... so worried for me... And I..." Munakata looks up at him, teary, gaunt, and frightened like never before. "I don't deserve your kindness! I don't... I don't deserve any of it...!"

"...It's okay." Sakakura tries to smile but it falters into tears. 

Dying... would have been sad. Dying alone...? It's... It's nice to know that Munakata didn't abandon him, at least not in the end. In the end... He was alive. And that was good enough for him.

"It's not okay!"

"...I wanted you to live. It... never mattered to me if you cast me aside... Not one bit." As long as Munakata lived through it, it was worth it. He didn't... He shouldn't ask for more than that. "Protecting you is my job. I'll always put you first."

Munakata can see the freckles along Sakakura's cheeks and the bridge of his nose more closely now. They scrunch up ever so slightly with his smile. That... That smile again. It was that smile again! The same one when he...

"...Don't forgive me.."

"What...? Of course I forgive you! How could I not?"

"Please, it hurts... It hurts too much for you to... Don't... Juzo... Don't forgive me! Please, don't forgive me! I can't... I can't... I don't deserve your forgiveness, please! Just... Hate me... Get rid of me... Don't... Don't forgive me!!"

Hearing Munakata speak this way... It's frightening. And all he wants to do is make the man smile. 

Forgive him? He already had. He was never holding a grudge... He'd only been confused. But hate him? How could he ever do something like that?

The nurses begin to spill into the room, trying to wade through the hysterics to separate them. But Sakakura fends them off, until they start to pull him up and back into bed.

The pain, or anything else he's feeling... It just doesn't matter.

"Kyosuke... You and I... When I'm up to it, you and I need to talk about some things... I... I have something I need to tell you. And maybe... Maybe you'll understand."

"...Sakakura..."

 _"This time..."_ Sakakura thinks... _"This time, I'll tell him. I'll be braver. I'll be better."_

"Until then just... keep it together for me, okay? And... no matter what, please be my friend...?"

"I... I promise."

At least that, Sakakura thinks. If nothing else, then at least that. And maybe, that can be his hope too.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they lived happily ever after, probably together, but if not as boyfriends then at least they reached some kind of reconciliation and everything's fine and despair is over. The end.


End file.
